The Complete Guide to Becoming Your Best Self

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT, SELF CARE / Thursday, September 22nd, 2016


Working on ourselves continuously is so important. There is always room to grow and learn and change. As we learn more about ourselves through self reflection and self awareness, we can see the areas we would like to improve to become the best version of ourselves we can be.

If you have been following my blog posts at all, you probably know I am on a journey to become my very best self. I am doing this through self-development, personal growth, self-reflection, as well as blogging and inspiring others. It has been such a fun journey and one that is definitely changing me for the better!

In this blog post, I wanted to put together a guide for my readers, so they too can work on becoming their best selves. This guide contains easy steps that you can incorporate into your life overnight and literally start your path to a better you right now! This particular list of tips is the exact tools I started incorporating into my life in the beginning of my own journey.

The Complete Guide to Becoming Your Best Self

The Ultimate Guide to Becoming Your Best Self

1 | Let Go of Negativity

In my opinion, this is one of the first steps to becoming a better you. Negativity can hold us back from many things in life, especially happiness. When you are carrying around an attitude of “I have the worst luck” or “nothing goes right in my life” than that is what you will get in return. Your mind creates your reality. No, not because of some magic universe phenomenon, but because your choosing to only look at the negative things in your life, and not giving any attention to all the positives.

Also, when you are constantly negative, it does not only take a toll on you and your environment, but it can also be extremely hard on those around you. So, how can you let go of that negativity? I have a few tips:

  • Start practicing gratitude. When you begin to focus on the aspects of your life that you are grateful for, your whole mindset changes. It is as easy as writing one thing you are grateful for in your life, down in your journal or planner, or even just saying one thing in your mind before bed at night.
  • Stop complaining. We all do it, don’t worry. But, what we need to remember is complaining literally helps us in no way what so ever. Give yourself a window, you can complain for five minutes, or you can complain about something once per day. Once you make it a point to mentally notice when you are complaining, you will stop. You will start to realize how unnecessary and annoying it is.
  • Look deeper. Usually negativity comes from a place of unhappiness. Start to ask yourself what may be troubling you in your life? What would you like to change? How can you improve it to make yourself happier? Do some self-reflection and be open to making changes.

2 | Be Kind

Be kind to others, it literally costs nothing. Do not be rude to people in the service industry or in customer service roles. Trust me, I understand what it is like to work in customer service. Never act like you are better than anyone else, you’re not. Use empathy and remind yourself that you have no idea what anyone else around you is dealing with in their lives. You cannot control what other people do or say, but you can control your reaction, so don’t be an asshole. Say thank you, say please. Hold the door. Say excuse me. Do not be rude. It is seriously the easiest thing you can do to become a better person.

3 | Live Authentically

Never hide your true self. Do you, girlfriend. It takes a long time to become comfortable in your own skin, and figure out who you want to be. So, when you finally get there, never apologize or hide who you are. Never strive to be like anyone else, be you. Unique, weird, different, authentic people are my FAVORITE kind of people because they are so confident with themselves, and I love that so much. How can you be your BEST self, if you’re not even being yourself?? 


4 | Figure Out Your Values

Sit down, and make a list of your most important values. This is important in figuring out who you are and, the values you want to live by in your journey to becoming the best you. When you establish your values, you can create a moral code of sorts, and you can follow that in your journey. When you create that moral code, you create it with the person you want to be in mind. So following it, ultimately creates that person.

side note: I actually created a Value Classification Worksheet which you can find in the 2018 Thrive Guide. Just one of the many activities to help you Thrive in 2018!

5 | Let go of Self Doubt

This one is so important. How can you become your best self if you are constantly doubting your abilities, self-worth, skills, etc. Letting go of self-doubt is not always easy, but it is possible. It involves letting go of others opinions, letting go of fear of failure, letting go of pre-conceived opinions of yourself, and letting go of comparison.

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6 | Learn to Love Yourself

You need to love yourself. This may not come easy, and it may take time. But you need to work on this. The best way to begin this journey is using positive affirmations and speaking positively to yourself. Every morning, while you are getting ready for work or school, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat a positive affirmation to yourself 3 times. I’ll be honest, it will feel weird the first few times, but then, it will be awesome, and you will start your day feeling so good! Some positive affirmations to get you started:

  • I am a beautiful and strong person. I can tackle anything that comes my way today.
  • I am a confident person. I am going to rock it today.
  • I am going to be my best self today. I will stay positive and kind.
  • I am going to have an amazing day. Nothing will crush my positive mood.
  • My outfit is on point today. I feel confident and beautiful.

Any kind of affirmation that makes you feel good about yourself, is perfect. Make it your own. I promise it will change your mindset about yourself and your life.

7 | Read More

Reading has always inspired me to become better. Over the past year I have gotten hooked on motivational, self-help style books. I always feel so great after reading an inspirational book about how to kick ass in life. I have also started highlighting my favorite parts, or parts that were motivational to me, so I can go back when I need a pick me up.

Check out these two posts for some recommendations:

Must Read Self Help Books: 12 Books to Inspire and Motivate You This Year

8 Inspirational Books Every Twenty-Something Should Read

The Best Books to Read in Your Twenties

The Ultimate List of Books That Will Improve Your Life This Year


8 | Invest in Yourself

Investing in yourself is never a negative thing. If your interested in pursuing a class, a course, or even just in purchasing something as small as a book, do it. Self-investment is always a good thing. You will learn about yourself regardless of the outcome, and the more you learn about yourself, the easier it becomes to know who you want to be, and how to become the best version of yourself. There are so many resources online now, that investing in yourself is easier than ever. If you want to pursue a curiosity or a passion, there is probably an online course out there that you can take.

Check out this post to see my Top 5 Worthwhile Personal Investments.


9 | Try New Things

Similar to investing in yourself, trying new things is never be a bad thing. When we push ourselves out of our comfort zones, and we try new things and have new experiences, we grow. We always learn from new experiences in our lives, regardless of how the experience went. Even if you try something new, and it is terrible, you can learn from that experience. Push yourself to try things, explore, be curious, and get outside of your comfort zone. We can never grow if we don’t change or try anything new.

Related Reading: 10 Ways to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone 


10 | Use Self-reflection

This is probably one of my favorite activities that I have incorporated into my life. Self-reflection can show you SO much about yourself and who you are. It can help you dig deeper and allow you to explore some things about yourself that maybe you weren’t aware of previously. You can practice self-reflection through journaling, blogging, meditation, etc. I like to think of some questions and focus on those to dig deeper. For example, what are my values? What personality trait do I most want to change and why? What do I want to change about my current situation? What are my 3 happiest moments and why?

You can seriously ask yourself anything! I also like to take advantage of times where maybe I reacted poorly, or acted in a way I was not proud of. I dig deeper into those experiences and reflect on the why. It is really kind of fun, and you learn lots and lots about yourself. My only tip is to be very open-minded and also open to change!

Blogging has been a huge form of self-reflection for me, as I am always thinking of personal situations and experiences from my own life, as I blog about various topics. Interested in starting your own blog? Check out my easy to follow guide to get startedHow to Start Your Own Blog


Well guys, those are my tips to start your journey to becoming your best self. If you incorporate a few of these into your life, you will see a change in yourself and your life. I would love to hear the other ways you work on becoming a better you. Let me know in the comments below!






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33 Replies to “The Complete Guide to Becoming Your Best Self”

  1. I love this ! I am on a journey to finding my true self and these are great tips ! I used to be “nothing ever goes right “ I’m becoming more “ that was unexpected, moving on …” thanks for sharing your experience!! The only way to keep happiness is to give it away !

  2. These are awesome tips! I’ve always had an issue with self-doubt and I was able to learn to doubt myself less by reading more and making sure I know something before trying it (especially something dangerous like using a chainsaw).

    If you’re confident in your knowledge of something, you’re sure to encounter less of the doubting phase. If you make a mistake? Guess what? You’ve learned something new.

    These tips are definitely something I’ll be returning to when I’m in need of help, but my question for you is, if you had to pick the most important item from this list, which would you choose?

  3. This was a lovely, interesting read. I am 100% for self-reflection and introspection. Spending time alone can really help you become self-aware. Self-awareness is always the starting point of self-growth!

  4. I like this article. It gives lots of things to improve ourselves. Thanks for posting such a valuable one.

  5. Hi! I loved the article. Thank you! You are totally right about reading. I’ve been in a deep depression, not wanting to change anything or even go outside. Then I’ve Discovered books that helped me to start working on my self-esteem.

  6. This helped me alot. It wasn’t too crazy, it was practical and they were small things that I could start doing now. I love this!

  7. Wow. Such an inspiring blog. Talk about perfect timing. The universe is conspiring in my favour hence this meeting . God is faithful and I’m inspired to keep seeking Him. Thank you for this awesome share. Love and light from Africa, Botswana Gaborone.

  8. Hi Kendra

    Your material is fresh, easy on the eye and brain, creative, lively, stylish and modern, not to forget smart, inspiring and life-changing. I love it!

  9. I have found myself coming back to this post time and time again. I have a blog about creating a new life in addiction recovery. So basically, once you quit doing drugs, I help you start over, brand-spanking’ new. I love this post as it basically sums up what my own site is about. I love the pin with the girl, glasses, and tattoo. (That is similar to my brand as well) I’ve shared the crap out of it. lol I guess what I’m trying to say is great job, amazing post, amazing graphics. I love it all, you got me hooked. Thank you!

    1. Tasha thank you so much for your kind words! So happy you connect with the post. I love what your blog represents as well. What you do is so important, keep doing wonderful things!

  10. Hi Kendra! I found your blog on Pinterest today. What perfect timing. I have been with my husband since the age of 16. Now, at 41, I feel I never had the chance to be independent and grow into my own person. I have always been part of a duo. I’m so thankful for him and the life we have built, it is a beautiful one. However, I have been feeling the need to rediscover myself so that I can be a better person, partner, mother, friend. At my age, I’m not adjusting to adulthood…I’ve been in the trenches for some time. But just reading a couple of paragraphs of your blog, I am inspired and excited to focus on me just a little bit more. I already feel rejuvenated. Thank you!

    1. Thank you so much for commenting! It’s comments like this that make blogging so worth while! I totally agree that rediscovering ourselves or working on our self improvement is an on going journey that can begin at any stage of life. Good luck on your new journey of self discovery and focusing on yourself! Xx

    2. I am in my 40’s also (48 lol) and the ideas presented in Ms. Kendra’s blog are not ones that we had the fortunes of growing up with. That is probably the biggest reason I decided at the age of 37 to be come a drunk and ended up on probation at 45. What Kendra is speaking to in this, are the same ideals we were taught in my women’s domestic violence offenders group. So Ms. X, I urge you to start putting in to practice her words of wisdom before you end up across the desk from your probation officer like I did! (It can happen at any age and especially if you’re empty nesting) And Kendra, don’t limit the scope of these ideas to that of the “20 something’s.” These ideas need to be the new no for any female above the age of 18 and the new Dr. Spock way of raising girls. Had I known 12 years ago what I know now Wednesday mornings would have been reserved for meditation and yoga not probation officers and piss tests!

    1. This is a wonderful post. I really need to implement all of these into my life as I’m in a rut. And it’s perfect timing being 2020 tomorrow. Thanks so much for taking the time to write this post. It truly is inspiring.

  11. Hi Kendra,

    I quite enjoyed this blog post. I am just beginning to read online blogs and articles as a means of improve the breadth of what I read for pleasure, and to achieve that “pick-me-up” motivation when I need it. You bring up many important points about how to become your best self. I particularly enjoyed the points you made about figuring out your values and letting go of self-doubt.

    I try to spend quite a bit of time on self-care as a way of becoming my best self. Although it can prove difficult to practise self-care at times because of competing priorities (taking my Master’s degree, working as a Teaching Assistant, working outside of the university, etc.), I still push to make self-care by third most important priority, right after school and work. The self-care activities I use to become my best self include: playing my saxophones; listening to jazz music; exercising; reading for pleasure; and journaling.

    Do you have any recommendations for how to make self-care and other strategies for becoming your best self more of a priority for me in the face of other powerful competing structures? Thank you again for this wonderful and uplifting post!

    Take care,

  12. I had this article in my reading list for few days… I LOVE IT!
    I’m not really good writing in English ( I’m from Venezuela) but this is so true and I just feel awake… I don’t know… All of this things are my globals for this year!
    Thanks for everything!

  13. Goodness! Found your post on Pinterest. So very inspirational! I think you are going to make a very good role model for young women. Keep doing what you’re doing and good luck on your spiritual journey 🙂


    Laurali Star

  14. Hi, Kendra! I love this article!
    I strongly believe in becoming our best self is the best thing we could ever do, for both our self and the world! I’m on this journey too, and my blog is entirely based on the concept of living the best life by being our best version each day!

  15. Love this post !!! Very inspiring on a similar journey of self betterment ? Oh and I love my bando diary so much was nice to see others using it haha

  16. Another great blogpost! Especially love the part about investing in yourself – it’s something I’ve been doing a lot more in the past year. I stopped spending money on ‘stuff’ and instead enrolled in workshops, went to conferences and other cool events. It has really enriched my life (+1 for doing new things!). Money couldn’t be better spent in my opinion!x

    1. Thank you SO much for the continued support Emmelyn! I also have tried to stop spending money on material things and use that towards myself and my self improvement journey! So much more beneficial!

      Thanks for reading 🙂


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